Your success will only be as great as your fear and insecurities will allow.

- Nicole Scherzinger

Overcoming Internal Conflict

"I find myself thinking that I won't do very well almost every day." She said.               

"Why do you think that, when you are always successful in everything you do?" I replied.  "I'm never worried about how well you'll do.  You're one of the smartest, most capable people I know."

"I don't know!  It's just the way I feel." She countered.

I spent the next few days thinking about this conversation in great detail.  I reflected on it again and again, knowing that I had the same kind of feelings quite often and I was hoping to find two answers all at once.

Have you ever had the same type of feelings?  It appears to be a competitive world out there and we all know we need to be a little better than the person next to us so as to feel better about ourselves, make enough money and reach our goals.  But is that really the truth?

While I was pondering this conversation I was able to make some discoveries about my own internal processes that I hope will make a difference for you if you've ever faced the same personal conflict.

Get started!  Yes.  I know you've heard it before and in many different forms, "The hardest part is getting started;" "The hardest thing about writing is staring at a black page;" "The first day is always the hardest."  I could come up with more of these little sayings, but you get the point!  The illustrative fact about these sayings is that there are so many of them.  There's a reason for that.  Almost all of us struggle when we're starting something new or we feel alone when facing a task.  Now that you know this to be true just face any challenge head-on and get started.  As you do, you'll find that the largest hurdle is already past.  To help myself with this challenge I put a up big sign in my office that says, "The longest task is the one that's never started!"

Start keeping score!  When faced with new or difficult situations I often worry about my ability to succeed so I've started keeping score.  What I mean by that is, I now have a mental list of things I struggled and succeeded with, so when I need to call in the reinforcements I simply start going through my list.  When I'm finished, I feel confident because I know all I need to do is to get started because I've succeeded in many similar circumstances.

Just show up!  Most of success in life is just being willing to show up every day and put in a little effort.  Once I figured that out I became much more resilient and patient.  I now know that if I succeed at nothing else I will be the last man standing.

Finally, be your own best cheerleader.  When I came back to my friend and gave her these thoughts I also revealed to her that I have my own little cheer; it's a little song I sing in my head when I feel as if I can't succeed.  I know it's a little corny, so I won't sing it for you here; it works though!  So, write your own little cheer song and encourage yourself all along the way.

Use these little steps to overcome your fear and insecurities so you can succeed beyond what you thought you could.  You can do it!  Get started now; keep your own score; show up every day; and cheer yourself along.  See if these aids will make a difference for you.  The first step is the hardest!