Monday's Warm Cocoa 27 March 2017 Questioning Obstacles
Published: Mon, 03/27/17
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TODAY'S INSPIRATION:
“Will asking questions allow you to overcome obstacles more effectively than ever before?” – Bruce Dunning
Questioning Obstacles
“Would you like to work with people more effectively?” Bruce asked.
Bruce is a negotiation expert and business coach. I marvel every time I’m able to work with him because he’s able to develop a personal relationship with everyone he talks with faster than anyone I’ve ever met. Even at times when it appears as if several obstacles are blocking any possible, successful outcome Bruce has the ability to have each seem to supernaturally dissolve. It’s as if he is employing an invisible magic wand.
Of course Bruce doesn’t have a magic wand. I ‘ve asked him! And, he’s never lied to be before, so I believe him. And, I’ve worked with him for almost three years now. During that time he’s been kind enough to teach me some world changing things about obliterating seemingly impenetrable barriers when working with other people. May I share four things I’ve learned from Bruce with you?
First, when you meet other people assume they have good intentions. “When you begin to accept good intention, even when you don’t agree with another person’s view of the world, a path is opened.” Bruce teaches. “Just because someone doesn’t see things the way you and I do doesn’t mean their “evil!” He once said to me as he made a funny face and contorted his fingers to drive his point home.
“Most people really do have good and caring in their heart!”
Second, it’s important to have genuine caring for each individual you’re communicating with. “Other people can tell if you care about their welfare and not just your own.” Bruce says. When others feel as if you’re there to get an understanding of them and their point of view, without any other motive, they’ll begin to open up. “If you want to make progress, simply stop trying to convince others.”
Third, use questions as the core of your conversation. “How would you rephrase your statement as a question?” Bruce imparts. Do you see how he’s using a question himself? Now my mind is like a merry-go-round! How can I rephrase that as a question? I constantly ask internally, hoping to have the questioning-skill become my natural way of communicating. Have you ever tried to connect with others using this method?
Fourth, be open to learning. Life is filled with surprise and my follies are unceasingly revealed as circumstances expose how incorrect my assumptions are and have been. Perhaps recognizing this is a sign of how the questioning-skill is teaching and changing me from the inside out?
Could developing a questioning-skill be the key to over coming the obstacles you and I face in our lives? Does change in the world happen from inside out? Will you and I use questions to become more effective than ever before in our communication with others?
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Lynn Butterfield
Managing Broker, Coldwell Banker
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Residential & Commercial Real Estate Sales, Global Relocation, Mergers & Acquisitions
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